In-Between
/performance, installation and experiments/ / Project for RCA WIP SHOW/
Starting with how I identified my own emotional state with the psychological term “languishing,” which refers to the mental state of being stuck between flourishing and depression. The “in-between” nature of languishing intrigued my interest in the condition of being ‘in-between’, which is a state that could easily be overlooked as it doesn’t fall under any named conditions. In-between is yet a ‘nameless’ state to some extent; the anguish of struggling in different instances of “in-betweenness” can be desperate as it can make one feel confused and alienated; the devoid of understanding can intensify its ineffability. Consequently, the despair of experiencing it can only be expressed in a silent way.
The difficulty and the necessity of ‘naming’ this intangible notion are the initiative of this project. I decided to experiments with different approaches to create spaces for various in-betweenness to be expressed. And by documenting and presenting these experiments, the aim is also to create a clear picture of this intangible notion.
Experiment 01
I took the in-betweenness of my inward world as the start of this journey. My plan was to create myself an environment with all the conditions which could make me feel comfortable to talk about things that I usually feel uncomfortable to talk about with others, particularly to those who love me. I decided to stay turn my back to the camera, as I found that it is difficult to talk about my inner vulnerability and fragility to others even to the camera in a ‘face-to-face’ way.
Experiment 02
In the previous experiment, I found that avoiding the “gaze” made me feel more comfortable talking about things that related to my inner struggles. Later I began to think about how to involve the notion of ‘avoiding eye contact” in a dialogue, which can be applied in the struggling instance of ‘wanting to talk to someone but not being able to’. Then I got the idea to make a chair which is designed for people to sit on it in a back-to-back way.
For the second experiment, after finishing the making of the chair, I tried to sit on it and talk about things that make me feel particularly horrible about myself, and the despair that I had to keep it silent. I took the chair to a quiet place that I found outside, an environment with light that made me feel comfortable and relaxed, and more importantly without anyone who knows me. I started this experiment at night when it had fewer passers-by than at daytime. In some ways, after it started, I started to consider the process of sitting on it and talking about it as a sort of confessional behaviour.
Experiment 03
I invited my friend to try to sit on the chair and to say whatever she wanted about her ‘in-betweenness’. Then she decided to me put the toys that she brought from China, which are the images of her two adorable cats on the other side of the chair while she talked.
The conversation we had prior to the experiment, as well as her emotional reaction to it, gave me a hint that there was more possibility and flexibility in terms of “who” could sit in the chair and what the conversation on it could be about. Then I started to think about questions such as what if it is a conversation between you and someone that you could never actually talk to, or what if it is only a dialogue between you and ‘something’ that you want to have a conversation with…
Experiment 04
I wonder if the design of the chair can enable conversations which are different to the ones in other circumstances to happen. For experiment 04, I invited friends to sit on both sides of the chair, in order to see how the design of it, the environment and the relationships the participants shared (couples or close friends) might influence the ways they interact with one another.
I asked them to sit on it freely, and have a chat if they wanted to. Apart from that, the conversations and interactions of participants that were shown in the video were entirely spontaneous.
Work In Progress show
